These are mottos used to motivate both young and old. Mostly stuff I've heard and put to good use.Some paraphrased from the great coaches like Vince and Yogi , others just movie quotes and stuff I made up. Let's get right to it.
Pain is weakness leaving your body.
If it ain't rough, it ain't right.
If you wanna be strong ,you gotta be strong.
We're all out here to have fun, but winning is more fun.
All I ask is that you run your pathetic little guts out .
That covers the youth sports section. Now on to the more general life and parenting sort of stuff.
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice. (awh)
Beer and wine , fine. Wine and whiskey , a little frisky.
Your future is ahead of you.
I love you Poppi.( used by girls through the ages to extract ducats from daddies)
My favorite
" Shut your mouth when you're talkin' to me!"
On another note, re. yesterday's post.I got this question.
Dear Smoothstar,
I caught a really big rat in one of those glue traps. Now what?
Signed,
Sully
I'll answer that tomorrow.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Do you smell something funny?
Rodents. Some industrious, some despoilers,some downright ornery. I seen 'em all boys. And not all of 'em walkin' on four feet ,I'll tell ya. If you have rodent trouble and who don't ; you might think you don't , but you do ; this is the focus of todays focus. I got a woodchuck with his bastardly bunny buddies under my shed, I got chipmunks building an under ground city, I got squirrels ,moles, voles, and a tree surgeon up the block who' charged his own mother 1800 bucks to cut down a small sumac. Rodents? Yeah, I know rodents. Smell a rat? No, I smell a mouse.And this little fella moved right in with us.
"Don't kill him daddy, he's so cute." So let's just make a trail of cornflakes from the the last seen to the open front door. My guess is a capabyra will follow the trail in and slit my throat while I sleep.
"Don't kill him daddy, he's so cute." So let's just make a trail of cornflakes from the the last seen to the open front door. My guess is a capabyra will follow the trail in and slit my throat while I sleep.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
To your health.
The doctor writes me a letter. Hmmm? He's a relatively young man from my perspective. He's not quite fifty. The short of it is, find a new doctor ,I quit. Imediately a quiver sets in my liver and I make an appointment during his last week. I shudder at the thought of going back to my previous witchdoctor and I'm curious. . He tells me he can no longer afford staying in business. Ain't no money in doctorin'. Who knew? I offer him a position in my carpentry firm.
From a lifestyle perspective, we all need good medicine. I see a professional whenever there's something stuck in my eye or have a cough that lasts more than three or four months. Insist that your health care provider uses only genuine turtle shell rattles and the powdered cat bone powder she blows into your face is from only a black cat that died at midnight. No generics for me thanks.
From a lifestyle perspective, we all need good medicine. I see a professional whenever there's something stuck in my eye or have a cough that lasts more than three or four months. Insist that your health care provider uses only genuine turtle shell rattles and the powdered cat bone powder she blows into your face is from only a black cat that died at midnight. No generics for me thanks.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Dave's Don'ts
Heres a list of "don't do it man"
1.Don't buy your wife a deer rifle for christmas
2.Don't buy your wife a rake for your aniversary.
3.Don't buy your wife a case of beaujolais and drink it all.
4.Don't go to court or a job interview drunk.
5.Don't shovel the old lady's driveway next door, not even once.
6.Don't go swimming in Buckinhgham pond; it's only a foot deep and the bottom is green.
7.Don't use a blowtorch and a can of gas on a wasp nest. Shouldn't have to tell you.
8.Don't put the center of a golf ball in a vise. Shouldn't have to tell you.
9.Don't throw bullets in a campfire. I should not have to tell you.
1.Don't buy your wife a deer rifle for christmas
2.Don't buy your wife a rake for your aniversary.
3.Don't buy your wife a case of beaujolais and drink it all.
4.Don't go to court or a job interview drunk.
5.Don't shovel the old lady's driveway next door, not even once.
6.Don't go swimming in Buckinhgham pond; it's only a foot deep and the bottom is green.
7.Don't use a blowtorch and a can of gas on a wasp nest. Shouldn't have to tell you.
8.Don't put the center of a golf ball in a vise. Shouldn't have to tell you.
9.Don't throw bullets in a campfire. I should not have to tell you.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Dear Smoothstar
Dear Smoothstar,
I always wondered what posessed someone to start a blog anyways. I always figgered it was a bunch of self important twerps writting for no one. My buddy Johnny Ringo asked me to write to you and find out.
It seems your promise of an eel recipe is gonna be your biggest draw. Is eel really any good for anything but bait?
Signed ,
Iquisitive
ps.are you gonna do the swahili phrase of the day?
Dear Inquiz,
Funny you should ask, I was wondering myself. And yes eel is super, fried, baked ,smoked pickled, jellied ,you name it, it's scrumptious. I've never tried it boiled.
Best
Smoothstar
I always wondered what posessed someone to start a blog anyways. I always figgered it was a bunch of self important twerps writting for no one. My buddy Johnny Ringo asked me to write to you and find out.
It seems your promise of an eel recipe is gonna be your biggest draw. Is eel really any good for anything but bait?
Signed ,
Iquisitive
ps.are you gonna do the swahili phrase of the day?
Dear Inquiz,
Funny you should ask, I was wondering myself. And yes eel is super, fried, baked ,smoked pickled, jellied ,you name it, it's scrumptious. I've never tried it boiled.
Best
Smoothstar
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Forthright on the second
Don't stop me if you've heard this before. I pull over to the side of the road and a big beefy state trooper comes sauntering up and asks" What have we got going on here today?" It seems I was doing 78 in a 40, the bike hadn't been inspected in a year or two and through some clerical error the lisense had been suspended due to a case of mistakin' identity in 1980. I was so intent on test drivin' the bike I kept going faster and faster after the siren and lights went on and I didn't notice. So I opt for the "Officer, I'm all jacked up" defense.
Here's the point I'm tryin' to make. When you fall into the hands of the police, and we all do, it's usually due to some over exuberence rather than any malice on your part. It could be speeding, or maintain farm animals within city limits, fishing without a lisence , tresspassing, fireworks, hunting out of season, running an unlisenced nightclub, building without a permit, the usual stuff, use the "I'm all jacked up " defense. We are exuberant people and if in our exuberence we take a small step over the legal limits, politely say,"Officer , I'm all jacked up and I didnt realize...." This year we will be honest.
*I got away with my test drive but I can't promise you will.
Here's the point I'm tryin' to make. When you fall into the hands of the police, and we all do, it's usually due to some over exuberence rather than any malice on your part. It could be speeding, or maintain farm animals within city limits, fishing without a lisence , tresspassing, fireworks, hunting out of season, running an unlisenced nightclub, building without a permit, the usual stuff, use the "I'm all jacked up " defense. We are exuberant people and if in our exuberence we take a small step over the legal limits, politely say,"Officer , I'm all jacked up and I didnt realize...." This year we will be honest.
*I got away with my test drive but I can't promise you will.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New day yesterday.Old day now.
Awright ,time to get busy. I'm all about lifestyle. Like the boy scouts , you gotta be prepared. Everyday anything can and does happen.
Say you wanna live a millionaire playboy lifestyle and we do; certain rules apply. You have a job ,well god bless you, but if by chance or happenstance or choice you don't that doesn't mean your lifestyle should suffer. If a bad back or a new baby or obsolete skill set has you homebound, listen and learn. If by the merciful christ your significant other does have a job you are doubley blessed. You have all the benefits of a job without the often onerous downside of having to do it.
Here's today's tip. Some of you may already be hip to this gag so you can testify to it's effect. This is for you lesser halfs of the love relation so's you can keep the affections of the loved one and maintain your indoor home. Endless house work and childcare can be even worse than a "real" job so that ain't the way to go. If you have a avocation like playing the trombone or say you're a poet, follow your passion with all your heart. But fifteen minutes before yer honey's shift at the zinc mine is through, in a medium size skillet heat two tablespoons of olive oil and saute' a chopped onion. A delightful aroma fills the home. Overflowing clothes hampers , poopy diapers, crusty dishes loose their power to annoy when the sweet sound of "Ooo something smells good" are the first words from your beloved's mouth.
We are going to apply ourselves like never before this year.
yours smoothstar
Say you wanna live a millionaire playboy lifestyle and we do; certain rules apply. You have a job ,well god bless you, but if by chance or happenstance or choice you don't that doesn't mean your lifestyle should suffer. If a bad back or a new baby or obsolete skill set has you homebound, listen and learn. If by the merciful christ your significant other does have a job you are doubley blessed. You have all the benefits of a job without the often onerous downside of having to do it.
Here's today's tip. Some of you may already be hip to this gag so you can testify to it's effect. This is for you lesser halfs of the love relation so's you can keep the affections of the loved one and maintain your indoor home. Endless house work and childcare can be even worse than a "real" job so that ain't the way to go. If you have a avocation like playing the trombone or say you're a poet, follow your passion with all your heart. But fifteen minutes before yer honey's shift at the zinc mine is through, in a medium size skillet heat two tablespoons of olive oil and saute' a chopped onion. A delightful aroma fills the home. Overflowing clothes hampers , poopy diapers, crusty dishes loose their power to annoy when the sweet sound of "Ooo something smells good" are the first words from your beloved's mouth.
We are going to apply ourselves like never before this year.
yours smoothstar
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)