The Theater Where There is a Play Performed

    We all love Guys and Dolls. We like The Music Man, Hello Dolly, Hair and Rent. A few years ago  I saw Sean O'Casey's "Shadow of the Gunman" and a few years before that Jean Genet's "The Maids". Both were performed at the local colleges in small black box theaters. The performances were just super. I've also seen a local theater group perform Boghosian's "Talk Radio". Likewise nicely done. These sort of plays can be seen up close, with hardworking local actors, and can be had for cheap and are a cultural goldmine. Check the local papers and colleges and see some drama live and up close. It's killer.
   It can, like everything else, go wrong.  Smoothstar himself took to the stage a few years back; In Goldini's "Mirandolina" at the Troy Art Center. Playing Guido, servant to the Cavalieri, Smoothstar's performance was..... riveting.
       Don't sit too close to the front, you don't want to get anything on you that won't wash off.

Rent a Tool

  There's an old saying, "Why buy what you can rent? Why rent what you can borrow?  Why borrow what you can steal and why steal what you don't need."
   Today, I'm off to the tool rental place to pick up an item called a Jumping Jack. It's been years since I've used one but the memory of these little beauties is scorched into my mind. They are a gas fired pogo stick that rattle the fillings out of your  teeth while tamping soil or crushed stone to a fine fare thee well. Sadly, they don't supply a thing called  "A Lob", which is a strong young fella to operate this machine.
     I have a buddy that rented a back hoe for a week . At the end of the week his yard looked like the surface of the moon and then it rained, filling in all these giant holes with water and mud. A few months later he rented a small dozer and filled it all back in. Don't that sound sorta like fun?

Draw This Dog. Draw The Lumberjack.

   When was the last time you drew a picture? Here's a little assignment. With a pencil or a pen or some crayons and a few sheets of paper, draw a picture of yourself. Draw a picture of a friend or family member. Draw a picture of your house. Do all these pictures without looking at your subjects, just draw from memory. Then do the same three pictures looking at your subjects, using a photo or a mirror for yourself. How much different do these subjects look compared with how you think they look? Also, do the drawings get any better or just different for observing while you work? Give yourself a little time to do these drawings but don't overdo it.
     Then take your favorite picture from the whole bunch and stick it on your fridge with some tape or a magnet. Very good. Now wasn't that fun?
   Another really fun thing to do is use an eraser to erase the eyes of person on a magazine cover so their eyes look all white. It looks really creepy . Do that while you are waiting in a doctors office.

The Grand Tour

   Part of every young persons education is The Grand Tour. They set sail or fly to The Continent. There are vists to The Uffizi in Florence , The Louvre, The Acropolis, The Vatican, as well as pleasure spots such as Monte Carlo and Capri. It helps to have a fabulously wealthy auntie to foot the bills. It takes about a year.
   There is also for American youth, an additional grand tour. It consists of a road trip straight to Miami, west to New Orleans, south to Nuevo Laredo, returning north via Nashville to visit Tootsies's Orchid Lounge, the Kentucky Derby and a stop in Chicago to hit Buddy Guy's Blues Club, then straight home. It takes about a week and half.
   Travel expands the mind. Don't deprive your children such great opportunities. If you don't have the rich relative, help them get a crappy car on the road, loan them a few hundred bucks, say a little prayer and ask them to pick up some fireworks for you on the way home.

Join the Club? Are You Clubable?

  We have all heard the Graucho Marx quote: "I wouldn't join any club that allows people like me to become members." How does one obtain membership in the most exclusive sorts of clubs? What are these clubs, and would we care to join if given the opportunity?
  There are the local country clubs; Most come with a nice golf course. Boocoo money. How much golf do I play, must be my first question.  There are the outlaw bike gangs. Not for everybody. There are the oak paneled gentlemans clubs where deals are made and high stakes poker is played in cigar smoke filled rooms and you hang around in red leather chairs reading the International Herald Tribune. That sounds civilized. My friend Captain Haddock is a member of the Society of Sober Sailors. That might do more than a few of us some good.
   We all enjoy some level of society. Start your own club of like minded individuals, build a clubhouse, have a secret handshake. I always wanted to be in an animal named club, like the Raccoons.

Put the Fun in Fashion Fundamentals

    Rather than putting in the mental, I like to strive for fashion fun. Sure, it takes a certain something to rock the business suit. We all have to attend weddings and funerals and no body wants to look like it's Holloween at such affairs. Likewise, some of us must wear "business attire" (read that as suit) on a daily basis. A jaunty scarf or snappy tie does not fashion make, my friends. My point is, don't bother with trying to do much with the suits. Buy 'em ,wear 'em if you must. I buy off the rack, then head to a decent tailor to have them altered so they fit.
  Fashion fundamentals. Jeans. Buy red, lime green ,tourqoise and purple. Band tee-shirts. Unless it's Iron Maiden, stick to obscure bands only you (and other uber-hip kids) know about. Footwear.I like Chuck Taylor All Stars; in red, lime green, tourqoise and purple. Summer. Filthy cut-offs, flip flops, no shirt or bikini top for the gals. Save fashion for cooler weather. Hence the name -cooler. Truckers gimme caps for all but the coldest days.
   Tomorrow, we talk about, "Nice casual".

Mood Music (part 2)

   We have looked at music to get us in the mood for working. Today, "I'm in the mood for love, simply because I'm near you", as the song goes. Before we get in the mood for love, we must meet our soulmates.   
   A weekday at the Metropolitan is a good place to start. Neither of you will have steady jobs ,so you will have time for romance. Romance takes time. Nothing is more romantic than weekdays roaming the city together while the peasants slave away. So after you have met a fellow cultured person and romantic walks have worked their magic, a bit of hand holding, a friendly kiss while the barges slide by, it might be time for a bit of indoor canoodling. Hopefully, one of you has a half decent place to live.
   One of you says, "Don't you think you should put something on?" You slide over to the stereo and grab the first Wes Montgomery record you see. Oo la la.  Invite me to the wedding.