Tabula Rasa.

  No, it's not what's for lunch.  It translates roughly from the Latin  as "blank slate". Everyday we get to scritch a little something that ends up being our lives. What's that other Latin thing you always hear?  Oh yeah . Carpe diem .  I was seizing the day on saturday and making my mark  on the blank page that was january 29, 2011. Only in hindsight can I evaluate the quality of my effort. I'll monday morning QB it for you.
   Slept late. Big breakfast. Schlepped  groceries.Lunch .Nap. Dinner. Horror movie. Sleep. It was one of those days when  I feel I will live forever, so what's the big hairy hurry. My favorite line from the old westerns is "Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt."
   Today, I might decide to get married , apply to medical school, start my novel ,write a hit song, invent a million dollar haircare product and land on mars. I'll also  have the tabouli salad for lunch and wake me around three.
 

Best Innovations of 2011

   We're not even out of January and this promises to be a watershed year.  Here's a must get. You have a photo imprinted on a sweat suit or some jammies or even a business suit, of your own actual nekkid body. Back ,front, sides ,top and bottom , if you catch my drift. No airbrushing out the nasty bits. The company we're gonna call "Imagine That" and I'm looking for investors. Allright, it's just an idea I had yesterday ,but I think it's a good one. There have been others, but not this year. With the internet you find out quickly what's been done. Lives of the Saints trading cards. Already done.  Crocheted condoms ,done. Flannel Hawaian shirts , available.
   Those of you who know me well have heard about this product idea. A hair care product. Shampee. Not been done.  I'll tell you all about it, maybe tomorrow.
  Anyone wanna swap a Saint Anthony rookie card for a Saint Genero in mint condition ?

Read 'em and weep.

  Two things I never like to do while the sun is out are listening to jazz and gambling.  Gambling teaches a lesson and sometimes a harsh one at that.  Not every idea is a good  idea . There is no worse feeling than the realisation that you have been  both greedy and foolish.
   Here's an example of sound financial planning. You are twenty four and your wife is eighteen and pregnant. You are newly and happily  married. The marriage event  produces a small windfall of cash, say fifteen hundred bucks. In dog racing , eight dogs run and three finish in the money. Other than a sunday matinee, it's run at night. What could go wrong?
     Words we never want to speak. " I lost my shirt at the dog track."

Sweat,Sweat, Sweat,Until You're Soaking Wet.

  It's a dirty word. Exercise. At the age of thirty-five you will be shown two paths. Down one path you get weaker. Down the other, stronger.  Up until that point (of course the fates can take you at any time)  you can pretty much live anyway you want.  Indulge all filthy pleasures. Then as the worm does , it starts to turn.
   I won't go on and on. I have one question. " Do you want to end up, and I mean soon, a total carcass?"
Of course not. Here's what I do. I put "Kill 'Em All" by Metallica on the Ipod. I force my self to go for a run.
You don't have to be all cheerful, gee this is  fun. Who wants to look in the mirror and see Nixon. Not you, not I.

Your Signature Style.

     You've always made your own fashion rules , now break them. Here's my twelve rules.
1.Plaid Pants. Plaid Shirt
2.Jammies . Not just for sleeping.
3.Pull up your pants. Crack kills.
4.No more than three days per shirt. (two, if it'summer or you sleep in it.)
5.Never pay retail , except for work boots.
6.Hawaian shirt, plaid shorts.
7.Red and green,  not just for Christmas.
8.Wear a hat! You're bald.
9. Never wear a robe after 3pm. Indoors or out.
10.Camo for hunting only. It makes you look like a maniac.
11.Hockey jerseys for hockey only.
12.If the Village People would wear it , I would too.

     Remember three words . Wow. Pow. Now.

Proper Mop.

  The questions I am asked more often than any are, " How often do I have to mop?" and "Is it possible to have too many hats ,gloves and shoes?" The answers I give are never and no.
     A quick look in my closet , well,  not an actual closet but a pile in the corner , always gives me a tingle. I got a couple of pairs of cons, python skin cowboy boots, rental shoes from a sixties bowling alley, well worn docs, I won't go on, all you gals and fellas know what I mean. We simply love shoes.
  About that other thing. I asked the kid and she said  "Every two weeks." My electrician came home early once and caught his girlfriend cleaning the bathroom. He asked, " Are we moving out  ?" 
     Take your boots off in the house. Show some consideration. Your cleaning staff shouldn't have to be mopping all the time. Tip them generously at the holidays.

No Soap.

    The term  is , best left to a professional.  Best, yes, but  second best is often good enough and can be lots of fun. Let's make a quick checklist. If it goes south somehow, will it seriously harm you or others? How seriously? Even professionals can overestimate their prowess. I knew a dentist and, I kid you not, he attempted to do a root canal on himself.  Do you have any hope at all for a favorable result? Check list done , let's get started.
     Do it yourself dentistry is just plain ignorant. Let's start with something easier. Make your own soap. You drip some lye( a caustic chemical, but mild), render some fat, whatever that means and combine. I tested mine on the dog. It looked kinda like gravy. If a dog eats it , it's not soap. It was a fun project.
   Oh yeah, related to checklist item #1. Is there a risk of fire or explosion? Not necessarily a deal killer. Go on,  do it yourself.