The Pole Vault?

  There's an old rockabilly song called Too Much Fun.  It has the line ,"There ain't a lot of things, I never done. I never had too much fun."
    I recently made the acquaintance of a couple of pole vaulters. You might ask where does one meet such people. You're at a bar or a cocktail party and the ineveitable question of "What do you do?" comes up. How often have you gotten the response, "I'm a pole vaulter." ?  Indeed. Suffice it to say that I met these guys, and it wasn't some kind of weird code word for something else. They do in fact pole vault.
   When I was a lad there always seemed to be long substantial chunks of bamboo around . I think they used to come inside rolled rugs.( not some weird code words either) Pole vaulting seemed like something we all wanted to give a try. I guess some men just follow their dreams.

Pogoing to the Ska Beat.

   Let's dance!  No better way to work up a sweat than doing the pogo to a first class Ska band. I prefer the Toasters for my pogoing pleasure. For those of you perhaps not familiar, to pogo is alot like it sounds; a frantic sort of bouncing, jumping up and down sort of thing. The ska is of course a horn fueled, jacked up kinda of reggae-like music. The Toasters went on tour in 1983 and never went home, so they should come to your town sooner or later.
   The mosh I tend to avoid. The metal music seems to get some of these lads a bit hyper. I was at a Hank 3 show in Brooklyn not so long ago and as the hardcore part of the show was getting under way, a young gal used her big ol doc martin boot to my lower back to shove me into the mosh. She said " Get in there grandpa."
   Dancing is fun. No stage diving , no crowd surfing.

What I look for in a personal trainer.

Dear Smoothstar
        I have wanted to get in shape since I was in high school, but never did. I am joining a gym and want to hire a personal trainer. Should I just have them take off their shirts and let me have a looksee and decide whoever looks the buffest gets the job. Are there other things to consider? I really must tone up for swimsuit season and it's already getting hot, so this can't take more than a couple of weeks.
   Signed
        A little flabby ,but cute
           Dear FBC
       You hit it dead on the first time! Just look at the line up of trainers and hire the cutest one. My wife looked great in a bikini and was the kickboxing instructor. Man, I was whipped into shape in no time.
          Yours in sweat,
                                Smoothstar
 
      

Don't Touch That Pipe!

  As a brief follow-up to yesterday's post: here's a piece of sound plumbing advice. Don't touch that pipe. Remember the Stooges episode when they are plumbers at the fancy party and Larry pops up through the lawn and Curly plumbs himself into a cage of pipes up in the bath room and water comes out of the TV.
   If it is any later than nine AM, and you have had any less than eight hours of sleep, unless you have plenty of leeway on your credit card, it is not saturday and absolutely not sunday; Don't touch that pipe. If you only think you know what you are doing ,or only sorta know what you are doing, or your buddy sez he knows what he's doing; Don't touch that pipe. If it's only leaking a little and you don't want it to leak a lot. Don't touch that pipe.
  Yesterday I gave the curb box cover a sixteenth of  a turn and muddy water started flowing up through the lawn. The guy with a back hoe is here now. I gotta go. Remember, unless you are Gwenyth , Don't.......

I got a curb key.

   Do you like to think of yourself as a grownup? Except for perhaps one of my kids, most of you out there reading this in internet land are over eighteen. Do you feel all growed up? Do you feel the same as you  did in high school ? Hopefully not the later.(see:  Smoothstar 4/11/11)
   Here's the day I felt I had come of age. While working on a job downtown a couple of years ago ,some sort of watery problem developed in the basement. Upon looking into it I said, "I've got a curb key, we'll have that water turned off in a jiffy." For those of you not in the plumbing loop, it's essentially a a long piece of steel that you slide down the pipe in your side walk or lawn that turns off the water to your house.
    For thirty or forty bucks I was able to actually purchase the level of maturity I have strived for my whole life.  Go ahead, call me Mister Walsh.

Other Lifestyle Blogs

   I just found out that Smoothstar isn't the only lifestyle blogger out there on the internet. Wow! I  visited one. It is written by a famous moviestar. Her's has more stuff on it like about places to go and things to do than mine does, because she has more time to go and do I guess.
   My readers are too busy to read a whole ton of reveiws of restaurants and hotels in Hong Kong. Although some of you may have personel trainers, I don't have room for videos and long articles about them. I can't mention any of these blogs by name, but if you don't have steady jobs and are looking for something cool to read about lifestyle, try Gwenyth's Goop blog.
   Tommorow: What to look for in a personel trainer.

Fiddlehead Ferns

    There was a guy a few years back who was a wild food celebrity and I believe he died from eating a poison mushroom.
   This time of year is fiddlehead season. For those of you who don't know, you must harvest these tasty little devils just as they break through the ground, usually right about now. They are about the size of your curled up pinky finger and a nice bright green . The smaller ferns you don't eat. If they start to open up, it's too late. You clean off the flakely flakes of brown stuff, parboil them and saute' in a nice virgin olive oil. Don't go overboard with the garlic. Eat them while they are, still screaming, fresh.
   With the mushrooms, go with an expert and even then, beware. If you think you ate some psylicyibin and you hallucinate yourself talking to Euell Gibbons, remember he's dead and you probaly are too.