Job Requirements

  Heavy is the head that wears the crown. So goes the old saying. As we prepare to pass the mantel of the Smoothstar on, let's look at what you need to know if you want to enter our pagent  (.Entries due on opening day, middle of October sometime)
1.  No more than three felony convictions please.
2 .Must be at least twelve years old.
3. The swimsuit and evening wear apsects will be waived for the reclusive.
4.Must be able to write a paragraph or so a day for a year (baring acts of god) on lifestyle topics.

That's about it for the requirements, now for the benefits.
1.Unlimited use of house in Vail*
2.A brand new Cadillac*
3. Keepsies on all comped product.
4. Three pair of dude socks from The Capital Mills Sock Company

* subject to availability

Readers Poll Results Are In

We had an overwhelming positive response to our readers poll.

1. 33% of  our readers are bald or balding
2. The Pirate Position is prefered over the Missionary Position by both men and women by over two to one. Three to one in France.
3. Nearly 100% percent of our readers fish. Excellent!
4. Only one reader reported a near death experience. An electrician who saw 400 volts worth of God.
5.Most all of our readers like to party. That's counting all parties.

That does it until next year. We will continue to serve until the first of the year, when we will elect a new Smoothstar for 2012. We will start taking nominations on opening day of deer season.

( Postings may be sporadic as the power is ripped off the house from the huricane. Reporting from the Delmar library)

Natural Disasters

Guest bloggers here (due to hurricane Irene Smoothstar is unfortunately out of commission)
Sometimes in every one's lives the weather decides that they want to ruin every one's plans for that day. Although the cat in the hat says that we can all have fun that is funny even if the sun is not sunny, the weather can still put a kibosh on your enjoyment. This hurricane for example. I was planning on going on a nice long cruise in my yacht around long island, but then suddenly there was copious amounts of wind and rain. Have you ever tried riding in a yacht on the middle of a hurricane? You shouldn't try it. Unless, of course, you want to drown everyone on board, including yourself.
As porky pig says, that's all folks!

Our Annual Reader Survey

1.What is your weekly income?
2.Are you bald, or balding?
3.Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party, or any other Party?
4.Do you know any beekeepers?
5.Do you or any of your aquaintences keep rabbits or other domestic animals for meat or pets?(not counting dogs ,cats)
6.Have you ever had a near death experience where you saw yourself or felt like you were floating over your own body?
7.What do you look for in a romantic partner?
a.lots of money b.good looks c.sense of humor d.nice car e.all of the above
8.Do you fish?

By taking our quick survey we will be better able to serve you with all the latest information for gracious living, good health and fiduciary solvency. Thank you for your interest and support over these last few months. Best
Smoothstar

Like A Bobby Charles Song

When you have a moment when the mix of the bitter and the sweet is just so. It can happen almost anytime. Anything from the end of the romantic evening when the sun is just starting to crack the horizon and you are walking home on a quiet city street, to waiting in a old pick-up truck for the rain to stop on some windswept job site. It's not just for someone else or only in the movies. It's definitely not only for the young. It's so beautiful you think your heart will just break, but it don't.
You might ask, "Hey Smoothstar, why so wistful this morning?" I just woke up with the old Bobby Charles tune, "The Jealous Kind" running through my head. Don't know why.

Composting for Beginners and How to be a Cornoisseur

Get a big plastic trash can with a lid that will stay on, to avoid raids by critters. Drill some good size holes in the bottom. Put in some busted up twigs. Toss in some clean top soil, also called dirt. Start throwing in your vegetable scraps, potato peels, egg shells ,coffee grounds, etc.(not meat).Keep a good size jug, to collect this stuff, with a lid, in your kitchen and empty that into your compost can every few days or it stinks up the joint. Jam a shovel or a pitch fork(available at any yard sale)in your compost can every few weeks and stir it up a bit. After a few months you have what we call black gold. It peps up your soil, also called dirt.
Fine corn is like fine Art. Don't open a dozen ears for every one you pick or there might be a fight.

The Hawk

Who wants to be cool? That's kind of a dumb question, you might say; and it is. We all want to be cool. We all want, "Oh that Bob, he so cool", or "That Marylou is the coolest kid in school."
All of you Smoothstar officionadoes already listen to the coolest music, and wear the coolest clothes, have the coolest cars, throw the coolest parties. The list is long. We are entering a windy period. An election is coming, as is a hurricane. When it really starts to blow, I am clueing you in to the coolest thing to say. You don't say, "It's blowing like a _____", fill in the blank. You kind of make a small shuddering sort of gesture and say, "Ooo...The Hawk."