Teens Rate Favorite Ammo for Deer Season

 With deer season just around the corner, I asked some of my teen friends what they will be taking into the woods this season. Their answers may surprise you.
    Bobby Fallon of Ypsilanti, Michigan writes. " My two sisters and I all use the .270 early in the season. We sometimes take shots at around two hundred yards across the fields late and early in the day. It shoots flat at that distance. When we drive out the woodlots later in the season, we  switch to the shot guns with whatever slugs we have laying around . They have great knock down power in close and we use them to kick the bunnies around if the deer aren't co-operating."
    Jilly Brown of Bennington, Vermont writes. " You don't think  of the .45/70 as a girls gun, but I only take one shot a year. Knocks them right down everytime, no matter where you hit 'em. But goddamn, that gun kicks like a mule!"
     Thanks kids for your ammo insights. Who sez teens don't have good sense?

Idle Hands. The Devil's Workshop.

     A teenager with time on their hands. Oh yes, they will think of something to do. As a young teen, for me, that usually involved trying to make something that would explode. As an older teen that usually meant an alteration of consciousness.
  But what of the modern teen? What are they up to in those quiet, uncommited hours? I see myself a savvy modern parent. But for the life of me, I can't figure out what those sneaky little fiends are up to. They've got to be up to something. Usually, Smoothstar has all the answers. Today, I have a question.
   Here's The Smoothstar TEEN CHALLENGE.
What are you kids doin'?  It better not be just homework, athletics,  and community service. There must be some kids building a go kart out of their neighbor's snowblower somewhere.

Parents Who Won't Quit Buggin' Their Children

   We all know the type. " Where ya goin'? When you gonna be back? Are there going to be any adults there? Will there be boys and beer?" Endless stupid questions. Then there are the endless suggestions about personal appearance and choice of friends. "That oufit makes you look like a  gangbanger/streetwalker." "Those friends of yours are lowlifes and criminals."
   " Geez mom/dad why don't you just quit buggin' me?" Well parents, why don't you quit buggin' them kids? You have raised them to have good character and to make good and positive choices. Think back to your own folks buggin' you. Remember all the good teen choices you made.
     Gar! It's a wonder any human children survive at all.
   Smoothstar sez, "Hey teens , try not to get pounded today." That goes for you parents too.

Smoothstar's Tips For Teens

  Many of my readers are teenagers, were teenagers or will soon be teenagers. This being Teen Week, I thought I should address of a few of the most pressing issues facing teens of today and yesterday. I'll break it out into two parts. Skin care and dating do's and don'ts.
   Skin care
1. Face your face. I mean wash your face. I like Oil of Olay's age defying soap. It's creamy and leaves your face feeling clean.
2.Don't bother showering everyday in the winter. Studies show the deer can smell you anyway. Keep them upwind, and the same goes for people.
    Dating do's and don'ts.
1. Don't be a schmoo.
2. Do be polite.
3. Don't forget to shower. Wash your feet real good, you might get lucky.
    Tomorrow: How to drive like a teen.

Teenage Girl Names Father in Lawsuit

   " I'm going to sue you for disturbing my mind ", the teenage girl spluttered. It seems her Dad had a habit of yanking up the legs of his plaid bermuda shorts, giving himself a sort of wedgy, then doing a fun little dance. Where's the harm? It feels pretty good, and I do it myself now and again, but it somehow upset the child.
    Teenagers are easily embarassed . That's what makes them so fun to have around. Often your mere appearance without saying or doing anything can do the trick. It doesn't help if you dress like Eurotrash and the Mother looks like some sort of mad Gypsy. Kids are so conservative.
   You have a car and money so they will put up with your hijinks. Enjoy the teenage years. They won't cringe at the sight of you forever.

101 Things To Do On A Sunday

1. Pay Bills
2. Do Laundry
3. Sing Shoo Fly Don't Bother Me to the melody of Swing Low Sweet Chariot
4.Clean Frog Water
5. Shoot
6.Sing Michael Row The Boat until you start crying
7.Sleep Eat Breath
8. Watch "Trollhunter"
9.Stew

I asked the family. This is what they suggest. Ask you own family. It's something to do. Mail your ideas to me.

Animal Husbandry

      This is a term that has long fascinated us. What exactly does husbandry mean? I know what it means around my house and it ain't pretty.
      It is defined as a branch of agriculture concerned with the care and breeding of domestic animals such as goats, hogs and so forth. It doesn't have anything to do with being a husband.  It's not just something some jerky junior high kid says.
   All right, I'll have to admit it. For some reason, animal husbandry crossed my mind as soon as I woke up this morning and it just sounded funny, but what's so funny? Nothing really, but don't it sorta sound funny?