Table Manners..........for pirates.

       My children have taught  me  lessons in table manners that my mother neglected. Mom asked that we keep our elbows off the table, say grace , and not act like an apes. The girls have their own ideas.
   If you must fart , aim it at whomever is sitting next to you. If someone asks that you pass anything, finish it first; if there is something you want, better to lunge for it.  If mom or scullion wench (same thing) has served something you don't care for, throw it on the floor. Stuff like belching, wiping your hands on your pants, singing, twitching, rocking like an aslylum inmate and  hollering with your mouth full are beneath mention ;they are de riguer as the french say(with their mouths full). If your children have the manners of pirates ,worry not,someday they will outgrow it, you will die or they will ship out with Barrett's Privateers.